So I can be very clear as to what my next step should be.
Of which path I need to walk down.
I needed closure. And I think I got it.
And no, I do not hate you.
I don't think I ever could, I don't think I ever will.
Perhaps you're right. The problem lies in me loving you too much.
That I have forgotten how to love myself.
Today, I re-read alot of my blog posts,
And realised that we really did have alot of good times together.
You did alot for me too,
Made me do things that I wouldn't have in the past.
Made me experience things I never thought possible.
You made me feel accomplished, in making you a better person.
But today, also marks the day,
That I am officially letting go.
Of all hope, of wanting to fix things.
The fond memories stay...
I will cherish them, but no longer hold on to them.
I shall leave you, and me...
With a few of my favourite quotes from years ago.
I have posted them before,
But never thought they would mean so much when I re-read them.
- Sometimes, we must get hurt in order to grow. We must fail in order to know. Sometimes, our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears.
- I cried when I knew I lost you, afraid I had lost it all. Then I realised that losing you, didn't have to mean I lost me.
- Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you'll lose your ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.
- Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
- Hope begins in the dark. The stubborn hope that if you just show up and do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait, and watch, and work. You don't just give up!
- You'll be surprised how far you can go, from the point where you thought was the end.
There shall be no hatred in us parting.
My love for you, will today, be kept in a box.
And stored away.
I shall return a stronger, more courageous person.
You shall never see me in this state, ever again.
I do not want to be remembered this way.
12 comments:
That's the way!
Stay strong, Mei. A lot of us are rooting for you. You've made the right decision in letting go. As cliche as it may sound, time will heal all. *hugs*
Wow!! Haven't read your blog in a few months and now, seeing all this emo stuff is just too overwhelming. I thought you guys would be married by now, but I guess its his loss. In any case, I think you should pack your bags and leave AUS behind. Then it will be a real "closure" for you.
The past weeks have been a roller coaster ride for you. The ride has finally come to an end and I'm very proud of you.
It takes time to heal, and don't be too harsh on yourself. I am looking forward to a blog written by the Bubbly Mei that we all know so well.
I have recently came out from a 3.5 year relationship. 3 months on, we are still living in the same flat (different rooms, for the avoidance of doubt) due to various commitments. When the lease ends in July, I shall be taking that bold move of moving out of this flat, where we've shared our memories for the past year.
Cheer up Mei! :) XXX
Hey, perfect stranger here;) I just stumbled across your blog, and I think it's brilliant and honest, and I hope you feel better soon, you worded goodbye so beautifully.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Mich: Thanks for cheering me up :) and for the yummy meal. *hugz*
Anonymous: The journey ahead of me is not going to be easy, but I will not give up.
For that's not the 'me' he fell in love with, and definitely, not the 'me' I know myself to be.
I will soldier on :)
Anonymous: It has come as a shock to many (myself included) who thought we were the model, happy couple. It has crossed my mind that I was going to marry him as well.
But like I have mentioned, losing him does not have to mean losing me... and I am still keen to see how far I can go, from the point I thought was the end - NOW.
EC: I don't know how you guys can still live under the same roof. You are wayyy stronger than I am.
I hope things will get better for you as well. Good luck to the both of us! *hug*
Shaylynn: It's only from the heart. Honest - spot on.
And thanks for thinking that it's beautiful. I hope to be remembered that way at the end of it all.
Hang in there Mei!! Seems like you've got a lot of support under you.
It will get better. Stay strong!
Roxie: Time will tell :) Your true friends are the ones who will always stand by you. So we shall see huh?
I will be strong! Thanks hun.
You will be alright. I did something bad 5 years ago and i truly regretted it too. I was young and stupid to have done something to hurt the person i love most - until today she remains the one i love most.
i'll ways be there for you Ling.
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