My last nite...

Honey, and chubby Mei. Photo taken a year ago...
**Tiger will have to sleep with daddy for the time being, till mommy gets there**

Tonight will be my last night in this apartment. The place where I've spent 3 years in... The place that holds many memories... be it good or bad.

I've been busy packing the past week... I'm ever so thankful to have Jon's dad, Uncle Peter to help me out with packing and everything. He even helped me vacuum the living! Thanks for being so wonderful!

And thank you, darling... for coming over everyday after work, although work's a bitch at the moment. I know you've been really stressed out lately with all that's been happening.

As I lie awake, in a room that's almost empty, I couldn't help but feel a tad sad, leaving this apartment. Although I can't wait to leave the mess behind *not caused by me, of course*, and the not-so-clean/hardworking housemates... I also feel that I'm leaving behind a part of me...

But it's alrite... for I am to embark in a new journey... with *you*.
*Muah*

HAP-PEE!!

It's been a long and stressful week, rewarded by one happy productive day! :) WHEE!!!!

WARNING: Long post ahead :P hehehehe...

I woke up early to browse through the Road Rules book before my Learner's test because I didn't have time to do that previously. Been busy packing and running other errands. Blargh :( Went to VicRoads to do the computer test, and I PASSED!! So I can officially drive a car now, provided there's a full fledged, qualified driver sitting with me at the passenger's seat! Any takers?? Hehehe...

After that, I went to the city for yumcha with some med friends, and guess who I bumped into?! Someone that I haven't seen for agesss! Since high school mannnn! She's the face of MAS now :) On the front page of their website... How cool is that?!


Mei & Ashley.

Had yumcha @ Sharksfin House in Chinatown. The food was somewhat different yesterday. They were... CUTE!


Cutesy goldfish "har kow's"


Cuttlefish look-alike prawn dumplings! :P


Ming Yen, Ade, Mei, Karen, Jackson & Jimmy.


Jag, Jimmy, David, Liew Hui.


Ade, Mei & Kaz.

Went to do some window shopping after that :) and had a drink with Ade since the rest of them went to the hair dresser's to cut their hair. How weird is that?! My first time seeing a group, going to cut their hair together! Hehehehehe...

They then went for a game of pool, when Ade & I came home and bummed for awhile, cause my feet was aching from all the walking around. Heeheheh... :P Need to regain stamina, man! tee hee hee.

The group then met up for, what might possibly be our last dinner together! :( Boohoo! Yong Shen's parents are arriving tonight, and Ade's parents tomorrow... Everyone will be busy entertaining their families, moving houses etc. :(

Dinner @ ChongQing Hotpot, Elizabeth Street.


One with the group!


Our large hotpot :P


Look at the RED! Chilli chicken - a dish so spicy, it'll send you flying to the moon, and your tastebuds to hell! I'm serious!!


Karen, Jialian, Chee Yoong, Yong Shen.


Grinning Mei & Ade :)

We finished dinner around 10pm, and headed home... to reality! More packing to be done :( sighhh... and more errands to run! But the good news is, results were released this morning, AND I PASSED! I actually did better than expected =) Tee hee... So graduation, HERE I COME! Going back to uni to pay for the regalia later :)

The rainbow is finally appearing, after all the rain and storm... It might be faint now, but at least it's there :)

Okay, back to packing and boxing up! **Mei faints!**

Untitled...

When you love,
There is no such thing as loving a little,
But loving all the way...

Love may not ask you to give up your life,
but it will require lots of sacrifices.

You can deny it,
Close your eyes to things you don't wanna see,
But truly, you can't close your heart,
to things you don't want to feel...

And when you love,
You have to learn to accept,
Both the good,
with the bad.

Adulthood is overrated...

I was watching the re-run of Grey's Anatomy Season 1 while reading up for my Learner's Computer Test tomorrow... when Meredith said "Adulthood is overrated. You might think it's great with the hot sex, the no parents thing, but in reality, it sucks".

And I agree with her 110%. ADULTHOOD SUCKS!



Responsibilities suck. I feel like there's so much going on at the moment, I feel suffocated. Exams are over, but I've never had the opportunity to be home, for at least one entire day... just to sleep and bludge. Having to run errands... going to Vicroads, to the real estate agent, settling my contract and visa, packing up and boxing my things, having to clean up and all.... arghhh. And those are only the physical things...

So much is going through my mind that I can't even fall asleep sometimes. Having to worry about getting my driver's license in time... or else, I really don't know how I'm getting to work :( I can't believe it took me 7 friggin' years to realise that I DO need a driver's license after all... I so hate myself for putting it off till today.

Too much to do... too much worries!

JUST TOO MUCH! I'm drowning.

I'm bored of feeling this way... so much, I'm sick of it. Blargh...

If it's not for *you*, there's really nothing in my life worth smiling about at the moment. Sigh...

Golfing for Mei??

Exams are over!!! Yippie! And after partying and celebrating on Friday, I felt somewhat empty. It's like "What now?" "What do I do next?" Hhmmm....

Yeah, I know it's a strange feeling! When I should really be happy that I'm finally done with exams, and hopefully... really done with the course, after six long years. Well, I am relieved, really... but just... a little "aimless" at the moment.

We decided to sleep in on Saturday, and be "big lazy worms" like how my sister words it, but then Jon's friend, Khar rang him for golf. The weather was sunny, and we didn't really have concrete plans for the day, so I agreed to go along after minimal convincing. Hahahaha.

Yes, I promised him that I'll go for a game with him a longgg time ago. He was supposed to teach me at the driving range or something **and that was wayyyy back in winter**. So, being a good gal :) I kept to my promise.


We went to Kingston Links, cause it's near to his mom and dad's and we could go back to pay them a visit after the game :) AND of course, it's convenient for Khar as well. Hehe.


Kingston Links Golf Club - It was sunny and nice that day :)


Karen & Mei


Jon taking a swing :)


I told myself that I was gonna regret going by the end of the day. He warned me that I was gonna have to do heaps of walking, so make sure I have on comfortable shoes. But it turned out to be quite fun, really. :)

I guess the only down side was he got a little distracted, and lost some balls on the course. Hahaha. But it was nice to finally be with him on the course, and be a part of something he loves. So yeah, I would say, I didn't regret going after all. Hahaha. Except for the fact that I'm a little darker now, and my freckles are showing :(

We headed back to his parents' after ice-cream post-golf, and had dinner with the family. We didn't go back to my place that night, cause Jon was too tired to drive, and there was a riot at Spring Street, in the city. We saw it on the news on Sunday, and were so glad that we didn't drive home that night. It was pretty bad! Scaryyyyy!!

Well, on the bright side, I got to spend some quality time with his family, AND I stayed over his place for the first time.. Hehehe. Yeah, we go back all the time, but I never stayed over.

Lights off... and I said " Oohh.. it's really dark and quiet here. I can't even see your face"
and then he went "Welcome to the suburbs, darling" O.o

I had a lazy Sunday with his family on Sunday. We watched the Australian Open, Uncle Peter taught me how to swing the golf club @ their backyard, Tish and I went marketing, and Jon cleaned up his car and changed the wheels...

It was a typical family Sunday... and yesterday, I felt like I'm a part of the family. Thank YOU. Thank you for giving me a second family here...

** Sorry if this post ended abit emo, cause I'm starting to miss my family :( 10 more days and counting **

The next generation

Last week, Jon's little niece, Amy, turned 7 =) Tish extended us an invitation to the party *of course* Hehehe. We attended her birthday celebration and ate lotsa pretty, colourful cupcakes, delicious desserts, and heaps of other yummy food. *geez, do I sound like a little kid, or what?*

For the first time in my life, I'm actually feeling old. Shopping for a birthday pressie for a little girl, getting used to being called "Aunty Mei". Hhmmm... I guess it's really a sign that we're ageing huh? Or at least I am... I've never really attended a birthday party of someone from the generation after me, if you know what I mean. I've got little cousins and all, but feeling like an aunt, that's something else.

BUT... that doesn't mean I can't have fun with the kids, yeah???


Amy & her BRATZ pinata.

Tish actually hired a fairy to spice up the birthday party! How cool is that?!? I wish I could have a fairy over at my place too. I've never had a fairy celebrating my birthday with me. Hehehehe. She did face paintings, they played games and all. I reckon the little kids had a blast!


The fairy and the little kids, in the garden playing with bubbles! Whee!!!

As for me, it was time for me to relax and unwind a little before my exams! :) It was good to have the afternoon off the just chill...


One with the birthday girl, the fairy, and the kids.


The kids were having fun playing treasure hunt, and unwrapping birthday pressies, while Jon was having fun, munching away... **caught in action** Tee hee hee...

Happy Birthday again, Amy darling. I'm sure you had a swell time!

Today, and always...

Today, I found out that someone dear to me has been keeping a blog...
Of events that changed her life in some ways,
Of events that were significant enough to be penned down..
Of thoughts that have been lingering in her mind for some time...
Of questions left unanswered...

I finally saw things from her perspective.
I finally realised that, just like me... she's human too.

Today, I saw a side of her I never did for the past 2 decades,
Today, I saw the real her...
Both the "outside" her, AND the "inside" her...
I finally felt like I understood her...
The mysteries unraveled.

And today, I want to let her know..

I love her...

And will always be there for her...
No matter the distance,
She's always in my heart...

ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO...

Hopefully, I don't have to resit anything
*keeping fingers and toes crossed*

The price for absent mindedness.

I've been feeling "not quite myself" the whole day.
I went back to uni to return my long overdue DVD's after class today.
As I was returning the DVD's, I realised that I didn't have my student card with me.
And then I realised that my whole BAG wasn't with me!!! *damnit*
I panicked for abit, and then started tracing my steps...

Only to find...


What the hell is that on my bag??


Well, at least... the consolation is... nothing went missing.
*sigh*

I told ya I haven't been feeling like myself today.
My mind's just wandering elsewhere...
At a thousand and one things that are bothering me at the moment.
I can't concentrate, and exam's 2 days away...

As of now, I hate my life! Arghhh...

She fears...

They woke up on opposite sides of the bed when his alarm went off.
He got up, showered, and got ready without saying a word.
She knew instantly, that something was wrong.
Something was wrong last night, when he went to bed.
Something is still wrong, for he did not want to look her in the eye.

She questioned, but no answer...

She tried to go back to bed, but she couldn't sleep.
She felt a rising sensation from deep within her.
The feeling of impending doom...
The feeling that she might have done something awful without realising it.
The feeling that she took the plunge, and he might not be catching her fall.
That feeling made her sick. She chucked.

She questioned again.. hoping for an answer.

She fears,
They may never be the same again...ever.

Is saying sorry, too late to salvage the damage?

Creatures of habit...

People always said to me that we all learn from our mistakes, from our past experiences. Sure thing, you subject yourself to vulnerability, you get your heart broken, and torn into a thousand pieces... But you pick up the pieces, and learn to be stronger. To live life different, to do things differently. It may be really difficult, but then you realise that life goes on after all... No matter how many lemon God throws at you.

You patch up the broken pieces of your poor lill' heart, and convince yourself that it's a whole again.. Brand new! :) And you've finally gathered enough courage to step into the dating scene once more... hoping to be swept off your feet by the right person. Hoping that this time, things will be different cause you're now equipped with the experience of your past relationship. And of course, the scars it carries, with the lessons learnt.

But really, being in a relationship is taking that risk, that your heart may be shattered into a thousand little pieces mercilessly. It's like having a precious piece of crystal ornament, and handing it to your partner for safe-keeping, hoping that they'll take meticulous care of it... to polish and brush it. To love it with all their heart, and never to break it.

And do we truly know that we're handing that precious part of us to the right someone? Are we truly gonna be happy this time around?? Or really, could it be the same thing all over again? The cycle that's repeating itself...

Do we all have a dating pattern?? Are we really just dating the "same" guy over and over again, but in a different physique and appearance? Because really... we're creatures of habit. We are attracted to that special something. That same something that he has, and the previous, and the previous...

"Do you reckon you're attracted to a certain kinda guy... over and over again, even if it spells DANGER?" Old habits die hard, or so they say...

**Disclaimer: This entry does not reflect the situation I am in. Just a little something I was pondering about**

Equality...

In today's society, women are meant to be equal as men.
Anything that they can do, we women can do it too.
The gap that distinguishes women and men is becoming smaller,
the line between us, finer.

I've always seen myself as a strong, independent woman.
Or at least, I constantly aim to be.

But there are times that I have to surrender to the fact that...



I need to be rescued...

And I'd like to be pampered...

For I am, a woman after all.

ps: My wardrobe is fixed now =) Thank you...

I wish for today to be over...

I don't want you to know,
So I try to be strong,
Don't want you to think that,
Without you, I can't go on.
....................But the days get harder,
....................And the nights feel colder,
....................To be honest, dear,
....................Even the stars are dimmer...
I wish I had superpowers,
To make time go faster,
So that once again,
I can have you near...

XOXO
Hurry home, hun.

Horrific Disaster!!

I had the most horrific wardrobe disaster today! My whole jacket compartment collapsed on me~! Well, not on me literally, but you get the drift! It's the most blatant wake-up call that I'm buying wayyyy too much clothes. That even my walk-in wardrobe can't handle it! Oh my gawd!


See the broken bar? With all my hangers still on it?? Yes, the whole thing fell! The socket from the pole broke! I so can't believe my eyes when I walked into my wardrobe! I was like "What's all these clothes doing on the floor?" And then I realised the whole bar fell! Shit!!!


On the right are my clothes still hung up, on the left, the whole pile of jackets on the floor! Sheesh!!! This is disastrous! :( Now the clothes are all over my bed. I so don't know how I'm gonna sleep tonight! I don't even know where to put them. It's a good thing that Jon isn't here at the moment.

I told Ade about it, and instead of sympathising with my situation, she just burst out laughing, and said "Hahahaha, too much clothes, girl. Wayyy too much!"
(O.o) GggrRrRr...

Hmph! You'll understand the pain when it happens to you **if it ever does** Blehhh...

-------------

On a totally irrelevant note, I went out for dinner with Ade, Mingyen and Karen, cause I haven't really sat down and caught up with them in awhile. I suggested to have Nasi Lemak initially, but the stoopid restaurant was closed! Who closes their restaurant on a Saturday night?? Man, definitely not business minded enough! Just not my day huh?? Just not my day! *sigh*

Anyway, the rest of them wanted to have Japanese instead, so we headed to Meshiya @ QV.


Karen's bento set.


The girls in white - Ade, and Karen with a new haircut.


Chubby Mei, and slitty eyed Ming Yen :P Hehehe...


My teppanyaki set :) Doesn't it just look yummy?? Well, at least the nice dinner elevated my mood a little! I was furious cause I didn't know what to do! Now my room's a mess. It's all cluttered, cause my books are everywhere, and now my clothes are everywhere too!

Back to my rambling... Just how am I gonna sleep tonite?? Damnit! And tomorrow's Sunday. So I can't even ring the landlord/agent. Cause nobody works on a Sunday! :( Great... just great!

Happy 3 Months, Bubs!

Happy 3 Months!
Quite an achievement for you, huh??

To many many more happy days :) * and sad ones too*
I love you lots, hun. *muax*

Sex & Emotions - Separable, or not??

A friend of mine posed a question for me, which left me dumbfounded, for I could not offer her an answer, or a solution to her situation. All I could do, was to be a pair of listening ears, and offer my shoulder for her to cry on.

It got me thinking, that girls and guys REALLY are genetically engineered differently. Perhaps it's God's way to spice up our lives... or really, is it only meant to mess us up??

Can sex really be just sex? Could it ever be entirely free-of-emotions? I'm sure some guys out there would definitely answer "yes" to that question... but to most girls (I'm generalising here), there's always a sense of emotional attachment. And if that's the case, when is having sex purely having sex, and when does it cross the line and become making love??? Or are they both truly inseparable? Indistinguishable?

This girl, XX has been seeing this guy XY on a very casual basis. No strings attached kinda relationship - no fuss, no commitment. You get the drift yea? It was agreed upon the both of them that it was purely sexual. It's the standard "She has needs, I have needs" line. XX always said that she's okay with that, and it's what she's always wanted, because she did not want to be tied down, and XY was obviously not ready for commitments of any sort.

But as time goes by, XX couldn't help, but got emotionally attached to XY. She denied having any feelings for him, but she would be upset and affected if he didn't call, or if he was out with someone else. If she's truly fine with their 'arrangement', then she shouldn't be affected at all, no? But I guess at the end of the day, we're only creatures of habit, with emotions. Which brings me back to the question, "Can sex really exist without emotions?" What do you reckon?

My answer is "No". But I guess, I can't impose my thinking on her, and I can't force her to do something she doesn't want. She doesn't want to let go, even after knowing that the guy clearly doesn't feel for her the way she feels for him. She just doesn't want to let go... she can't let go.

I can only hope that she'll be alrite... Girl, you deserve better... *hugz*

Toodles!

Goodbye, lill monyet,
Have a safe flight,
and a pleasant trip, yeah? ;)

Heaps of cuddles, and lotsa smooches...

*Woof woof*

ps: and don't come back empty-handed k? *winks*
nyet nyet nyet.

Edit:

The sky was weeping when he left this morning. That must not have been a good sign. But I still managed to walk him out, and kissed him goodbye with no difficulty. Then I went to work as per normal. The day was pretty much the same as any other.

I came home to my spacious room, with less clutter everywhere :D And a queen sized bed all to myself! Woohoo! And I thought to myself "This ain't as difficult as I pictured it" ;) It might even be pretty awesome...

But I thought wrong. I'm missing him heaps already. Missing the presence, missing the lame jokes, missing the kiddy comments, missing his constant need for attention... missing the bigggg hug and kisses that greet me when he comes home everyday.

I think the sky knew it, when he left this morning...

I miss you, hun.