I can see clearly now

I have to say that sometimes, you never truly know how much you love something until they're gone.
You have them by your side, you enjoy their company, you look forward to them coming home, you enjoy spending time with them, you like doing things for them, you get that sense of excitement seeing them happy and accomplished.

But really, how much do you really LOVE them? How important are they to you, exactly?

You usually have a pretty good idea.
But it takes a certain event for you to really see how much they really mean to you.
And sometimes, you never realize how important they are, until they're gone.

Because you never thought you had to say it to their face that they are number 1.
It never occured to me to say "Thanks baby. You're the best!"
It never occured to me the little hugs and kisses when he comes home, meant so much.
Because you always thought that "He knows. As I wear my emotions on my sleeves, he should know."

But the truth is, you HAVE to say it. If you mean it, say it! Say it as if it's never enough.
Tell him, reassure him. Say it from your heart, with all the truth in your eyes.

It may be too late for me to say it to you now, but I believe you deserve to know.
I owe you that much to let you know.
You are my number one, baby.
You have been for a long time. I just did not see it myself for the longest time.

Now that I have lost you, I come to see how important you are to me this whole time.
How you have always been my number one.
How I made some decisions, and compromises because my subconscious knew.

Hearing your voice today, made me smile from deep within my heart.
Us, being able to talk freely, and the other one listens contently - something we haven't been able to do for awhile now, for fear of hurting the other.
Hearing about your new car, and how excited you are - reminded me of the person I fell in love with.
The carefree, funny guy who captured my heart.
The person that I will always be in love with.
Just YOU - without the fear and the worry.

Some days, I wish we could take it all in, learn from it, and start over.
That some day, we would be the better, improved version of "us".

After all, doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

Other days, I see that I can't work a relationship on my own.
That we both need to have the same "wants", the same "goals".
To walk the same paths of life, alongside each other, holding each other.