Sometimes, I think to myself... am I giving equal service to all my patients? Am I being fair to all of them? Do I treat them all the same... like I said I would when we first took our oath??
One of the patients in my ward had complications from his surgery, and has been in the ward for the longest time. He's an absolute gem, but has gotten slightly grumpy with the medical and nursing staff, cause we're just doing endless investigations on him, and performing multiple procedures... None the less, he's absolutely nice, and everyone in the ward loves him to bits.
We were all affected when he had an anastomotic leak, and was facing the possibility of having a second surgery to fix the leak... and was being fed on TPN for the time being... and today, the high volume gastrograffin enema and CT showed that the fistula has closed. It's non existent now... and he's not leaking from his stoma anymore! Everyone was ecstatic! I was absolutely thrilled, cause I did not fancy the choice of him having a laparotomy... We were doing all we could, even praying for him... hoping that he'll be okay.
On the other hand, there was a PITA (pain in the arse) in the ward... who demanded lots of attention, and was a total whinger~! We, of course still had to perform the appropriate investigations and all... but I just found myself totally hypocritical when I had to insert an IV cannula, and as expected, she started crying before I even pricked her... I of course consoled her that she was doing a great job, comforted her, that it'll all be okay, and will be over soon... but deep inside, I was annoyed, and I was 'invisibly' rolling my eyes inside...
We were taught in medical school to not only treat the condition, but the person... to see them as a whole, and not only the disease/condition they have... but in reality... because of circumstances, it's sometimes more easily said than done... Sometimes, you just don't...
It scares me, that sometimes, I just want them out of the hospital, so that I don't have to deal with 'difficult/demanding/attention seeking' patients anymore... Whatever happened to "Maybe they just need someone to talk to"?? I used to be really good at it.. Holding their hands, listening to them while they cry...
I know I still haven't lost my touch, but have I lost my heart?
Is this what surgery does to you?!
7 comments:
2 months of working already made u lose your heart...
I wonder what would keep u going 2 years down the road?
But I think I know what u are talking bout...sometimes, we just couldn't help it...
we judged people...and we discriminate...
that's life, i guess?
Mouse: I still care for my patients alot... Jon thinks I get too emotional sometimes... but really, some are just so "ARGHHH" that you will like giving them two tight slaps and say "Oh puhlease... I haven't even done anything! Why are you crying?!"
Hi Mei I've been in healthcare now for 21 years...
It very much depends on how you view yourself in the context of the value you actually place on the patient .
For me the Patient is some one that I champion for always.
I know exactly what U mean Mei. I get so sick of some pts.. esp those manipulative ones. I had pts that cried b4 too, for me, I'll try to bear, & assure them, but if they keep crying, I'll just walk out. At least U haven't had manipulative pts yet! We had an anorexic lady who actually demanded things & tells doctors WHAT TO DO. Not to give this & that, not to give this does of meds but that dose.. & also refusing any treatment she doesn't fancy. That is crazy! She even told the consultant what kinda management she needed & not the one recommended by the team. EVERY single intern on-call every night will have to deal with her becoz she gets chest pain, or isn't feeling well, etc. We all Hated all,period. At the end, she sued the ward becoz she fell from her bed. How crazy can that be?
To est - If you get so sick with patients, then leave the profession. Patients get anxious for a reason and it could all go back to the attending doctor. Anxiety comes with uncertainty. And what kind of ward that affords to let a patient fall off his/her bed?
Anonymous: No, I don't get so sick with any pts, we were only sick with THAT particular pts.. If all interns are tired of her, do U think it's Our problem? She tells us WHAT to do.. even when we're all trying our best using our expertise, can U imagine if ur pt argues with ur consultant. She's not just anxious, she has a Psych issue. I just wanna clarify that as I do care for all my pts, just at times, U come across very difficult ones. and THAT one was extremely difficult. By d way, this lady claimed she fractured herself becoz she was left alone for awhile. NO ONE heard any thing, but u see, she's only 30, with osteoporotic bones that any slight 'hit' could cause a crack in her bone.
Sorry Anonymous, with all respect, I don't think U really understand as U may well not be in the medical field.
But for a doctor who doesn't feel anything when treating a difficult patient, U must be a saint. Of course, we have to bear with them all the time, showing our professionalism, but I do hope U understand that the medics can't be taken for granted as well.
A classic example that we can't be taken for granted - some elderly pts are left in the hosp for months even when they're well to be discharged. Reason: They don't wanna go home, main cause: being abandoned by their kids.
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