We've been getting medical students in the hospital recently. Not the final year students that you can usually relate to, and kinda be friends with, but first year students. Students that look up upon you, who treat you as a wise doctor and make you feel old. Those you make you feel pressured to teach them something, or at the very least, expect you to know something when they ask questions.
Perhaps I'm just not used to the transition from being a student, to now being a teacher. It makes me feel weird. Perhaps I do not have confidence that what I know is right. I do not have the confidence to transfer this knowledge to the future generation of doctors.
Seeing those first years really reminded me of the time when I first started med. When I was all eager and enthusiastic to learn all about the medical world, and to save lives! I tried putting myself in their shoes, to feel what they feel. To want to cure the world of all illnesses.
I tried to visually walk down memory lane. But I couldn't. It was all a blur... I couldn't even remember if I really did have that 'ideal' in the first place...
It's been TOO LONG...
2 comments:
What happened? You sound like you're so jaded with the medical world in this post....all along reading your posts I've felt that you love the interaction with patients and the feeling of having helped them?! =)
Cheers hope everything is well.
Jason.
jazzi: I'm not jaded... It's just the truth. I couldnt remember the first day I was in medical school... I just... couldn't... *shrugs*
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