Po

Dear Po,

It's been 6 months since you left us, to what I presume is a better place.

Not a single day go by, where I do not miss you. I still think about you a lot. The shocking diagnosis, to the way you left us so quickly. I guess, the only positive about it is, you didn't have to suffer for long.

Thinking back, there were so many instances that I should have pressed for more investigation to what was happening. You were already having some non-specific symptoms - but I guess, the question that I constantly ask myself is "Does it really change anything?"

The selfish part of me will always answer "YES!" - because we want to spend more time with you. We want you to be at our side forever. But, we're mere mortals - and forever, we do not live.

I always questioned - "Why didn't I bring you to see a doctor?" "Why didn't I press on investigation those symptoms??" "Was it a surgical complication that eventually took you, or was it merely a progression of the advanced disease?" I guess I'll never know.

But I guess it really doesn't matter - because the moment I saw you so peaceful in your sleep, I knew you wanted to go. I knew it was time. I was just glad that you waited for me to touch down, and gave me the opportunity to say goodbye before you left for good.

Po, I miss you so bad! I miss calling you, asking for recipes, I miss listening to your stories - even though in recent years, you kept repeating the same stories. They were still entertaining. I miss having you spend the night at our place. I miss giving you a foot rub, or a back rub while reminiscing the good old days.

Though I haven't lived with you in many years now, I just want to let you know that you've influenced my life in so so so many significant ways. I can still hear you saying specific phrases every time something happens - your sound advice.

I am so glad you were a big part of me growing up. I am so glad we got to go on family holidays together. I am so glad that you got to come to Australia to visit me, and see a little snippet of my life here. I am so glad that we drove you around, and went places. I am so glad I got to see your expression when you saw snow for the first time. I am so glad we got to share a snowfight experience with you. I am so glad you saw me start dating, and am so glad that you finally saw me marry the love of my life.

But Po, I am so glad that you are no longer suffering, nor in pain. I know you are at peace with everything, and that you'll always be watching over us. I am truly honoured to have been loved by you - and I just want to let you know, that you'll always always, be loved by me.

I MISS YOU SO BADLY. Somedays, more than others.