The day I lost my good friend, or perhaps... gained one.

I am on my run of night shift again. Sigh, the dreaded time of the month... a whole week of being on night duty, and sleeping during the day. A whole week of social isolation. The only thing to look forward to during this time, is of course.... the week off following the run of nights~! :) 6 down, 1 to go.... wheeeeeee~!

But that morning, I got an SMS from a good friend of mine, saying
" I got a training spot :) but it's in Sydney :( "

Took me awhile to register what that was about, because I was in the middle of my dream in lala-land when my phone beeped. And then I realised that my good friend got a position in the training program of her choice, after having a rather disappointing time. She had made some difficult, life changing decisions following the initial outcome. Some really brave decisions, I thought. I don't know if I would have the courage to do the same if I were in her shoes.

Ecstatic seeing the SMS, I immediately replied, asking " This is an exciting big step for you! You going? Whereabouts? Is XX relocating with you??"

Although only half awake, I had 20 million questions for her! I had so many things I wanted to know... How did she hear about the news the second time round? How is she feeling? What is she gonna do? When  is she leaving etc??

But it was only the day that I felt that, I was losing a good friend of mine... to the state of NSW :(

We went through med school together.
Did our internship together.
Went to our first country rotation together.
Went on trips together.
Decided to get into the same specialty.
Did our specialty diploma exams together.
Went for our training interview together...
And now, she will finally be in the same training program as me! :)
Together.... but not quite.

It's like... so close, yet so far...

I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. This good friend of mine, will no longer be "just around the corner".
I will not be able to ring her on a random day and go "Hey~! Whatcha doing? Let's go have lunch!"
"Hey, where are you? Come help me choose my wedding gown".

I will no longer have my pillar of strength. The person who drove all the way to my house, and brought me food when I was at my lowest. When I went through a rough patch with Jon, and felt like life wasn't worth living - she was there.

She was there for me when I didn't believe in myself. She was there for me to share the joy when I got accepted into training. She was there to share my joy when I got engaged. She was.... always there! Always have been.

That day that she told me she was taking up the position, and will be leaving the state, was the day that I felt like I've lost a good friend...

But then I sat down and got to thinking,

That I haven't actually lost her.

Because I'm truly happy for her.

I am happy that this position came to her after the intial disappointment. I am happy that she finally got what she deserves after having worked hard for it! I am happy that she has a supportive partner who is willing to move across the globe to be with her, to support her.

I am happy that she will have this opportunity to start a new life, and build a new home with him. I am excited for her, to embark in this adventure into the land of the unfamiliar.

Short term pain, for long term gain, my dear...

Ironically, it was only then... that I realised, that I haven't lost a friend, I have indeed gained one. Because I realised that I truly care about her, as a good friend.

And I guess, what I wanna say is that, no matter what decision she makes, I will be there for her, to support her every step of the way. We may not be able to just 'hang' on our off days, but I will always be there.

After all, I am only a phone call away, and if we're very lucky.... an hour plane ride on a $50 discount ticket.
:)


"Just follow your heart dear. There is no right or wrong decisions in the matter."